This afternoon I left Thanet for London. I'm one of those people (... there are more of "those people", right?) that get pretty intensely anxious before I travel anywhere. The question that will usually keep coming into my head between the fuzz and nonsense is "What am I doing??" Why am I in/ on this plane/ car/ bus/ train/ smelly, steamy, over-crowded subway with weird upholstered seats? I've asked myself a lot this time around, especially having been traveling on my own with a sort of haphazard game plan.
Last summer was an eye-opener in the sense that I now really see myself and a lot of people around my age entering onto this same terrible tableau-rosa period. Its like being handed a blank canvas and some paints and being asked to paint the landscape of the rest of your life.
Woa!
Ulcer!
We've been hijacked into a game of musical chairs... only you know... instead of chairs, its jobs. Most people I'm close to are struggling in one way or another, which I actually think is okay- but what I notice that actual struggle seems to be is not so much that the jobs aren't there, its more that we cant seem to focus on any one thing, and its intensely frustrating. Not knowing what to do next.
Anyway the whole point of that comes down to the fact that, all this week though I have suffered through anxiety-a-plenty and asked myself a trillion times "what am I doing?", I am safe and sound in another part of the world and I'm pretty sure the remedy for this post-graduate stagnancy, or any other kind of rut for that matter, is to expose ones-self to as much opportunity as possible. And that's what I'm doing here. We stand to gain so much more than we might lose.
This soap box is too high to get down off of at the point... I think I might just curl up here and go to sleep.
...so high in fact that I can see the O2 Arena and its lcd light car-ads which will be shining in my window all night long!
Goodnight everyone!
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